POSH ISOLATION HAMLET – A TRAGEDY IN FIVE ACTS
ACT I – bedroom
KRISTIAN: How are you doing, Adrian?
ADRIAN: I am doing alright. I am experiencing a conflict with my lover of several years.
KRISTIAN: Oh? How is that?
ADRIAN: It is quite graceful. My soul is shattered and my heartstrings are torn.
KRISTIAN: How graceful, yes – I have experienced this too.
ADRIAN: Yes. I am thankful that you are here for me, would you like to hear more?
KRISTIAN: If you would like to tell it.
ADRIAN: I have never felt worse pain.
KRISTIAN: Is that so?
KRISTIAN: How truculent.
ADRIAN: Indeed. May I offer you a glass of orange juice?
ACT II – bedroom
ADRIAN: This relationship is proving to be emotionally depleting, dear; each time I see you I feel as if I will surely die for anguish and pain. What say you we put up our swords and turn away now from this agonizing love?
LOVER: Yes, Adrian my love. I agree – it has been most difficult, and indeed, I’m positively on the verge of taking my own life. I think it would be best for us to forget the past and call a truce.
ADRIAN: Indeed! Though my heart tears in two every time I look upon your face, and the very thought of you drives me to a violent frenzy and suicidal rage – you look positively ravishing, by the way, my dear – it seems preferable for us to part.
LOVER: Indeed! I weep for you, Adrian, but I dare not become truculent.
ADRIAN: I should hope not. Good day, heart. You shall never know the darkness that seeps from my soul in your absence.
LOVER: About this you are right. Do write, my dear. Adieu!
ACT III – the desert
ADRIAN (aside): I am upset.
ACT IV – Mayhem club
ADRIAN: (in verse): Step aside / take precautions / gracefully stay out of conflict / oh well, I tried to mend fences / you truculently kick holes in them / and when I hold out my hand / you leave it there untouched
LOKE (to Elias): Adrian seems truculent.
ELIAS: I find him quite graceful.
LOKE: I wonder if he has broken up with his ravishing darling.
ELIAS: Perhaps they faced fire. Does your face know?
ADRIAN: The tensions tearing at your heartstrings running under your skin / but oh, darling / you look ravishing / let’s call a truce on this occasion.
LOKE: Some things rot like something’s some time is up.
ACT V – sitting room
KRISTIAN: Alas poor Adrian, I knew him well.
SIMON: A shame that his truculently outlived his ravishing.
ADRIAN: Hello, friends. Can I offer you some orange juice?
KRISTIAN: Hello, Adrian. We suspected your demise.
ADRIAN: No. I have mended a fence and called a truce.
KRISTIAN: How graceful.