OKAY WEEK | thanksgiving week edition!

A weekly round-up of the best things to do in the three best cities in the country and Seattle.

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TWIN CITIES [btbt31]

It is snowing again so there’s no point in even pretending like you’re going to do anything this week.  Stay warm on Monday and Tuesday.  Get drunk with yr bros on Wednesday (DRUNKSGIVING), or go to the GRRRL PRTY show at the Triple Rock if you’re into the local music thing.  Get drunk with your family on Thursday.  Don’t buy shit on Friday, you are ruining the holiday of the 33% of Americans who work in the service industry.  Pack in some luxury on Saturday because Advent starts on Sunday.  Happy New Year if you’re Catholic.  Happy Thanksgiving if you’re not.

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PORTLAND [S.S.]

MONDAY 11/24 – Free-pool/open mic – $2 PBR’S. Unlimited free pool and an open mic to boot. Is there anything more Portland?  @ Goodfoot, 2845 SE Stark.

TUESDAY 11/25 – “Santaland Diaries” – David Sedaris is pretty funny and, as theater goes, seventy-five minutes of funny is about the best anybody can hope for. Why are you going to a one man show again?  @ Gerding Theater, 128 NW Eleventh Ave.

WEDNESDAY 11/26 – Alex Clare – I think that, like, the kendo fighters in this video must be a metaphor or something.  @ Wonder Ball Room, 128 NE Russell St.

THURSDAY 11/27 – The fuk. It’s Thanksgiving. Watch football and get drunk like a real American.

FRIDAY 11/28 – Green Dragon.  If a beer is bitter it’s better, right?  The infamous Green Dragon, pouring out black cider and beers all day on Black Friday.  Hit the mall then hit the barrel.  @ 928 SE 9th Ave.

SATURDAY 11/29 – Colin Jones & Freaky Outty.  Idk what “Electro/ Freestyle/ Boogie/ Bass” exactly means, but it’s Sat-nite. Time to be stupid.  @ Dig-A-Pony, 736 SE Grand.

SUNDAY 11/30 – A Reading #12.  Do people still like poetry? Who knows, but it’s Sunday and some locals are reading it.  @ Valentines, 232 SW Ankeny St.

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BROOKLYN [bartleby]

There is nothing happening in Brooklyn this week.

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SEATTLE [gallons]

The only thing you should be doing this week is leaving Seattle for your hometowns and your families to celebrate Thanksgiving.  This will allow the natives to reclaim their bloodright, build anti-Amazon buttresses, make Capitol Hill gay again, and demolish every condo in Ballard.  Thank you for your full cooperation.

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