OK WEEK | 12/8/14

A weekly round-up of the best things to do in Seattle and three random shitholes around the nation.

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SEATTLE [gallons]

COLLEGE, NIGHTMARE FORTRESS, FUTURE SHOCK – Remember that song from “Drive” that you and yr friends would all dance to while pregaming and putting yr makeup on senior year with lyrics about about being both “a real hero” and “a real human being”?  I don’t know if College has any other songs (I kind of assume they don’t), but if you want to find out, you should probably go to this show. Tuesday, Neumos, 925 E Pike St., 8:00 – $15

AUTHOR & PUNISHER, THE CRYPTS, FAMILY CURSE, LIGHTNING KILLS EAGLE – Remember that one-man metal band who built all his own instruments to play themselves in a terrifying symbiosis of evil mechanics and weird humanism that you and yr friends would all dance to while pregaming and putting yr makeup on senior year with no lyrics cause it’s instrumental?  Neither do I, but Author & Punisher may be able to provide you with some semblance of such a memory if you try hard enough. Wednesday, Highline, 210 Broadway E., 9:00 – $10/$12

UNDONE: THE CHRISTMAS SWEATER SHOW, ft. TEEZER, STAY TUNED, and PIXMENT – Remember that Weezer cover band which isn’t the one I saw back in June and that classic movie theme cover band and that Pixies/Pavement cover band you and yr friends would all dance to while pregaming and putting yr makeup on senior year with lyrics about sweaters and surfing and cactus and Bathsheba and cutting yr hair and California? No you don’t, stop making up lies! Thursday, Chop Suey, 1325 E Madison St., 8:00 – $5

FINNEGANS WAKE, PART I, CHAPTER 1 – Remember that time you and yr friends recited the first chapter of Joyce’s notoriously nonsensical final novel for each other while dancing and pregaming and putting yr makeup on senior year with lyrics about no shut up you’re lying stop making shit up this is for real man come on.  Saturday, Chapel Performance Space, 4649 Sunnyside Ave. N., 8:00 – $FREE

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PORTLAND [S.S.]

JINGLE BALL: BILLY IDOL, GUSTER, SPANISH GOLD  – Yeah, Billy Idol is getting old.  Yeah, he’s going to play an annoyingly large amount of his new stuff and then do weird shit to the old stuff.  No you probably don’t have 40 extra dollars in yr wallet rn.  But, fuck, it’s a nice day for a WHITE WEDDING. Tuesday @ Roseland Theater, 8 NW 6th Ave., 8:00 – $SOLD OUT SUX FR YOU

94. 7 DECEMBER TO REMEMBER: SPOON, FUTURE ISLANDS, A GIANT DOG – Spoon is good.  The debate over their “greatness” is still raging, but in the meantime they play a damn good live show because they’ve been doing it for a damn long time. Wednesday @ Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside St., 8:00 – $SOLD OUT HAHAHA LOSER

A. MOLOTKOV READING @ GLYPH CAFE – Okay, Molotkov’s website looks terrible and his other artwork is questionable, but the writing is good and Glyph is surprisingly good. Pre-game with a story from the Kenyon Review. Friday @ Glyph Cafe, 804 NW Couch St., 5-7 – $FREE GOOD FR YOU

Walt+Whitman

BROOKLYN [bartleby]

BROOKLYN POETS YAWP – Poet Leigh Stein leads a workshop in the first hour, open mic in the second hour.  Called “the best poetry event in the borough.”  It’s a Whitman reference, get it??? – Monday @ 61 Local, 61 Bergen St., 7:00 – $5

SYMBIOPSYCHOTAXIPLASM: TAKE ONE – 1968 documentary hybrid in which a director invites a bunch of camera crews to Central Park but doesn’t tell them what they should be capturing footage of.  They film the director, each other, and random park goers.  Thursday @ BAM Rose Cinemas, 30 Lafayette Ave., 9:00 – $14 GA, $10 for students or “students”

PARQUET COURTS, PC WORSHIP – Brooklyn-based indie rock band that sounds a lot like Pavement and Parkay Quarts.  I got my shit together for once and got tickets before they sold out, so you might even run into me there!  Thursday @ Webster Hall, 125 E 11th St. (not in Brooklyn), 6:30 – $OLD OUT (get yr tickets underground for ~$30)

PORCHES, LVL UP, WHAT MOON THINGS, and CANTINA – I don’t know anything about this band but many of my friends like them.  Friday @ Palisades, 906 Broadway, 8:00 – $7/$10

DAY OF ANGER/MILLIONS MARCH NYC – Giant protest march to demand justice for Mike Brown, Eric Garner, and all victims of police brutality.  With 34k attending and 332k more invited on Facebook, it will probably not reach a million, but it will be huge.  BONUS: Al Sharpton will definitely not be there, as he will be at a similar march he’s organizing in DC.  Saturday, beginning @ Washington Square Park (not in Brooklyn), 2:00 – $FREE (w/small possibility of arrest)

TWIN CITIES [btbt]

JINGLE BALL!!!

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