OKAY WEEK | 1/26/15

A weekly roundup of all the best things to do in places that aren’t St. Paul and/or Minneapolis the Twin Cities and some other things you can do in other cities if the best is too much for you to handle.

SEATTLE [gallons]

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MANHATTAN MONDAYS – The BottleNeck Lounge is making $5 Manhattans.  They’re probably pretty bad, but hey, you can afford to pour one out for the victims of #BLIZZARDWATCH2K15 – Monday @ BottleNeck Lounge, 2328 E Madison St., 4-2, $5 x drank

MAYHEM, WATAIN, and REVENGESome of these guys ate each other once. – Tuesday @ El Corazón, 109 Eastlake Ave. E., 7:45, $25

TWIN PEAKS CHESS NIGHT – Cocktails called Laura Palmers, backwards talking, cherry pie, and chess.  All you’ll ever need. – Friday @ Arabica Lounge, 1550 E Olive Way, 7, $damnfine

HELMS ALEE, MARRIAGES, and GRENADESHometown alt-metal heroes Helms Alee, who put out one of my favorite albums of last year, conclude their tour with Sargent House labelmates Marriages the night before the Super Bowl.  Rumor has it they played Seattle the night before last year’s Super Bowl.  So obviously, we’re guaranteed to win. (Also, Helms frontman Ben Verellen just built that amp up there for Paul Allen.) – Saturday @ Neumos, 925 E Pike St., 8, $12 (obv)

AFFIRM SEAHAWKS DOMINATION – Super Bowl XLIX is upon us, and we’re facing off against the evil New England Deflatriots.  There is no chance of failure, because the forces of good always trounce the forces of evil. – Sunday @ Every television in Seattle, 3:30, $12.12

BROOKLYN [bartleby]

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#BLIZZARDWATCH2K15 – Don’t you dare leave yr apartment. Monday night – ??? @ Everywhere, Forever – $FREE

PORTLAND [s.s.]

LIST OF THINGS CHOSEN @ RANDOM FROM WW:

SKULLFIST – IDK I CHOSE @ RANDOM, REMEMBER? IT SOUNDS PRETTY COOL THOUGH.  SKULLFIST IS A GOOD NAME FOR A METAL BAND. Tuesday @ The Tonic Lounge, 3100 NE Sandy Blvd., $8

OMSI AFTER DARK – THIS ONE IS ABT SUGAR I GUESS – SO CANDY AND BEER W/OUT ALL THE KIDS.  CHILL. Wednesday @ OMSI 1945 SE Water Ave., $13

THE SNOWSTORM – OK THIS ONE IS MORE LEGIT B/C IT ACTUALLY LOOKS REALLY COOL. LIKE, JUST READ THIS THING. RACHMANINOFF IS DOPE AS HELL. Thursday @ CoHo Theater 2257 NW Raleigh St., $15-25

SNAP! 90’s DANCE PARTY – OH GOD. DANCE YRSELF CLEAN. Friday @ Holocene 1001 SE Morrison St., $5

SUPER BOWL SUNDAY – MAN I HATE THE SEAHAWKS BUT EVERYONE HERE WILL PROBABLY LIKE THEM.  DAMMIT.

TWIN CITIES [btbt]

RealSteelTwinCities

There is never anything to do in the Twin Cities because btbt is useless.  What the heck I work on Monday mornings, some of us have to work for a living.  There is a lot to do in the Twin Cities this week, like –

TUESDAY – FREE YOGA AT PATAGONIA.  I hate yoga but the staff at Patagonia are regulars at the restaurant I work at and told me to tell everyone so I am telling everyone.  @ 1648 Grand Ave., St. Paul, 7:00 PM – $FREE.

ALSO ON TUESDAY @ 7:00 ON THAT BLOCK – MATT BURGESS READING.  Matt Burgess is an author who wrote a book called Uncle Janice that is about to come out.  He will be reading part of it out loud at Common Good Books@ 38 S Snelling, St. Paul, 7:00 PM – $FREE.

ALSO ON TUESDAY @ 7:00 ON THAT BLOCK – ME, WORKING.  Come in and use the code “Fallujah” to get a free pastry.  @ idk my addess, mystery restaurant, St. Paul, 7:00 PM – $FREE.

ALSO ON TUESDAY @ 7:00 ON THAT BLOCK – club going up.  @ mystery club, St. Paul, 7:00 PM – $FREE.

ALSO ON TUESDAY BUT MOST OTHER DAYS TOO ON A DIFFERENT BLOCK – DESIGN CYCLES: A BIKE SHOW.  You may know that one of the reasons that the Twin Cities think they’re special is because we have a “highly developed” “bike culture.”  Like what midsize-to-large city doesn’t?  w/e though there’s a cool new exhibit at the Goldstein Museum of Design that sets out to prove why we’re actually the official best.  Featuring endless j/o seshing re: the Surly fat bike@ 1985 Buford Ave., St. Paul, T – SUN – $FREE. 

FRIDAY – DRONE NOT DRONES.  I don’t know how I feel about Nobel Peace Prize recipients, drone music, or benefit concerts, but when they all come together to make a 28-hour drone concert featuring some members of Low, P.O.S., Dosh, and like 30 other local superstars, I am in favor for purposes of pure spectacle.  @ Cedar Cultural Center, Minneapolis, 7 PM – 11 PM next day – $20/30 (to Doctors Without Borders).

SUNDAY – go Patriots.

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